Deafening Silence
Wayne was talking to a doctor about his bridge
partner "Doctor, I think
my bridge partner is deaf
because she never hears
my bid and I always have
to repeat things."
"Well," the doctor
replied, "The next time
you play bridge, bid
normally. If she doesn't
reply, say it louder and
louder. Keep doing this
so that we'll get an
idea about the severity
of her deafness."
Sure
enough, the next time
they played Rubber Bridge, he does exactly as instructed. He
starts off saying “One
Spade”. He hears no
response. He says it
louder “ONE SPADE”.
Still no reply. And
again “ONE
SPADE”! He
gets fed up and screams
at the top of his voice
“SHERYL!
I’M BIDDING ONE SPADE”!
Sheryl picks up a pen
and writes down "For the
fourth time, One No
Trump"
Running Hot & Cold
Sheryl: Can't play
bridge tonight. I have a
really bad cold"
Wayne: Try drinking a big glass of fresh orange
juice after a hot bath.
Sheryl: uh ... Ok ...
I'll try anything
Wayne: Hi Sheryl … Well, did it help?
Sheryl: How should I
know? I haven't even
finished drinking the
bath yet!"
Running Wild
Wayne “Doctor, my memory is failing and I
cannot remember the
cards when I play
Bridge.”
Doctor “If you want to
improve your memory and
your concentration, you
need to get some
exercise. A healthy body
leads to a healthy mind.
Run 10 kilometers a day.”
Two weeks later,
Wayne
calls the doctor.
Doctor "Have you done
what I told you?”
Wayne “Yes doc, I’ve followed your instruction
exactly.”
Doctor “So has your
memory and concentration
improved since 2 week
ago?"
Wayne “I don't know, I'm 140 kilometers away
from my Bridge Club"
Amnesia Double
Amnesia
Double: When you make a
lead directing double
when you are going to be
on the opening lead
Home Sweet Home
Wayne “I get a really bad headache after a long
bridge tournament”.
Joe “Do
what I do. I put
my head on my wife's
bosom, and the headache
goes away."
Joe "Did you do what I
told you to do?"
Wayne "Sure did and it works! By the way, you
have a nice house!"
Bridge
partners are like
parking spots, the good
ones are taken and the available
ones are handicapped.