the story of tables and chairs
by Bernard Marcoux, Montréal
In the world of bridge, everyone knows there are tables and
chairs.
But did you know tables look down on chairs ?
Tables
are snob, that I learned in the last tournament. One afternoon,
I played in a 3-way and my team lost.
That evening, a player
asked another player (member of the team that had beat us) :
-
Who did you beat this afternoon ?
-
8 chairs, was the response.
That is when I learned that tables don’t have a very high
opinion of chairs.
Well, the night after that, this TABLE arrived at my chair (what
can I say ?).
First board : TABLE’s partner opened 1
Precision, and all passed.
My chair lead a diamond and we
collected 12 out of 18 for down 2.
Second board : my chair opened 1NT and it went pass, pass, 2
(hearts and spades).
I passed, the TABLE passed and my partner
doubled. The chairs defended well, sitting on their tricks
(what can one do on a
chair ?) and earned 16/18.
Third board : TABLE’s partner tried a curve ball that didn’t
curve. How can a flat table think of throwing a curve ball ?
North chair
Q7
K852
A10543
85
Pitcher
table
J52
K9843
3
J1096
K92
QJ87
KQ10632
--
South chair
A106
AQ74
6
AJ974
South chair Pitcher
North chair
Table
1
2
(!) double
4
4
pass pass
4
double 5
pass 5
double pass
When the curve ball pitcher bid 5, the TABLE, who should have
passed on 4, unless he takes his partner for a chair, took a
very
aggressive tone. With the years, chairs have been able to
understand the TABLE’s language.
- You have no right to bid. Once you bid 2,
it’s my show, you’re out of the picture.
The chairs collected 15/18, for a total of 43 out of 54
matchpoints.
The
Table
left his chair (oops!) without saying a word. A
Table hates looking like a chair.
Chairs of the world, beware : don’t let one victory go to your
head and make you think you are a TABLE.
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